


My Fangs

by bladesummonerv



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Fangs, Jaskier | Dandelion has fangs, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Non-Human Jaskier | Dandelion, POV Third Person, Shapeshifting, Spiders, Temperature Play, Top Jaskier | Dandelion, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:34:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27588919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bladesummonerv/pseuds/bladesummonerv
Summary: Lute-calloused fingers cool to the touch. Turn up the heat, if it's too much. I turn on the lightbulb and slide the screen. I turn on my trusty fog machine. I'm serious, when I flip this next witch, look you in the eyes and I say check this. My fangs, ah! My fangs, uh!
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

"Eat, I insist." The viscount was sitting across the table from Geralt, swishing his wine around, but hadn't taken a sip yet. "Tell me about you?"

"I'm a witcher from Rivia."

"Oh yes! You and your pretty accent." Jaskier purred. "Hey, want to see a trick?" He said, and turned into a shiny black bird who sang a sad tune.

Geralt sat back in surprise, but let the bird land on his wrist. "Okay, well, I should be getting home." He said, putting Jaskier back on the table and getting up to go in the hall and get his coat.

He was there, a man with a funny smile, holding it out for him. "Was that your phone buzzing just now?"

"No."

"Oh, that's pretty, may I see?" Jaskier said, and Geralt rested his medallion on his palm, leaning forward. "Ooh," Jaskier said, and hissed, just like the spider face on Geralt's medallion was doing, squinting its fearsome eyes. "I think I recognize that. I must be like some kind of witcher catnip."

"Uh-huh."

"Why are you leaving if you haven't finished your dinner?" Jaskier said, playing with the collar of Geralt's coat.

"I'm only in this town to stop a vampire who keeps cucking people. I figure if I stay here until morning, it will be rude to him to knock on his door in daylight."

"Oh yes, well, you could stay for lunch, that may keep you until night comes again. What's, uh, what's the prize on his head?" Jaskier kept moving the coat before Geralt could get his arm in a sleeve, but also he wouldn't give it up to let Geralt do it himself.

"Head? Well this particular vampire is actually fairly well liked." Geralt got his coat back.

"Oh, okay, that's nice of them to tell you."

Geralt looked at his reflection in the window. He walked closer and saw through it to the lights of the hamlet, and the gnarled trees around the viscount's castle. "You'd host me?"

"Yeah." Jaskier laughed. "That's what I said."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Would you eat a person if they were underseasoned, or what?

Jaskier grabbed his cape in one hand and crossed it over himself regally, and then crossed smoothly toward Geralt like a star. "Lets find a room for you."

"Hm."

Now, I know what you're thinking. This is too silly, Jaskier is way too over the top, having too much fun, not real, a plant in the small audience. Next to Yennifer who would do a better job of this cape-fluffing, and Lambert who would make a pretty fucking badass vampire if you ask me. "Would you." Geralt asked, thinking about vampires.

"Would what?" Jaskier said, and then spun around, continuing his path backwards to show Geralt his knit brows and funny lips. "You'll be safe here. I won't be a nuissance."

"A nuissance, right."

"Although, if you asked, I would have to be a good host now wouldn't I?"

"Ohh, I should probably not ask." Geralt let his rough voice turn into a nylon thread, to see if Jaskier would pull.

"Eat you? Would I, if your skin was curious?" He said. And Geralt's skin was curious, all but goosebumped under his cape and sleeves. But no, no. No, he was a witcher, he didn't go around letting people sap him away in such literal terms. Jaskier left a moment in the air, for Geralt to actually feel his goosebumps and remember his job title. "Hmm. Maybe. I'm sure witchers aren't meant to be my diet. I don't know if you'd be any good, but I don't know if you'd mind."

"Diet?" Geralt said, and then tried to figure out all the rest of what he'd said.

"Sure. A vampire shall not live on bread alone, but on words." Jaskier said. Oh leave it to him to turn singing into a living. 

"You eat words? I've heard of that. I've learned some of the more obscure languages for my work."

"Yeah, see?" Jaskier had found a door to stand by, and open for Geralt, who went right in. No, he wasn't afraid of Jaskier. He'd killed vampires before, he could stand against one viscount. And no, he couldn't be so rude as to imply it. "Would you like any tea?"

Now Geralt did sniff around the room. Heavy blankets, downy pillows, a gorgeous red rug on the floor, an oddly shaped window, a rack with a limp long-sleeved article on it. No fireplace. "Yess."

"Okay, NOW I feel bad for keeping you this long, but there's another vampire castle down the road, and THAT might be the one you're looking for? I was going to tease you, it seems like you'd be fairly easy to seduce! But that won't stop me from having my fun in the village for very long. That's what I was going to tell you. But I figured you knew we would end up talking in the morning, but I'm holding firm to _that_! I shouldn't keep you until lunch if you have other vampries to talk to, if you had a schedule. I can see at night, I can deliver you there."

"Okay. I can see at night too. I won't pass up lodging or company, at least tonight, as least because you're harmless." He would never pass up lodging. Also, this was definately the right vampire.

"Harmless!" Jaskier put the tray of tea down. Geralt went over and had a biscuit. He'd figured the tea was an excuse to come into the room, but if it was hot, he was going to drink it. Jaskier flurrished his cape at the dressing chair, so Geralt pulled it closer to the table, and sat across from him. 

"Sure you are. You're stuck to all these rules. Don't go in doors you're not invited in, don't actually bring up meals to company--I'm not even polite company, I did ask," Geralt said, and Jaskier jumped down his throat.

"You're polite! Very handsome. Your face is so open, it makes me feel comfortable."

"Really." Geralt said. "Me. My face."

"Yes."

"Really." Geralt changed the subject, "What were you saying about--you asked me a question? After I asked you--rudely--what,"

"Not rudely." Jaskier rescued him. "That was really just me rambling! I just been thinking more and more of the fable about the vampire rabbit. Do you think good food is for the body or the soul?"

"Soul." Geralt said, just because he knew that bread alone thing was from the bible, which was a dumb book.

"Yes! Exactly! You eat because you enjoy eating, not just to feed yourself. You could eat dirt for that, no one does, it's not enjoyable."

"Worms."

"Oh, worms are just two assholes with no brain, they don't count, they don't know _what_ they're doing."

"Fair. I'll stop arguing. You'd rather _enjoy_ your meal?"

"Yes. You're not dirt to me, it what I most want to stress. I mean imagine! Being a chicken and finding people eating you only for respite against their stomach?"

"That's my purpose, so be it." Fuck, Geralt just said no arguing. "Food--your body can ail your soul. Respite is important."

"Hmm. I suppose so!"

"You only eat if someone asks." Geralt guessed. 

"I like variety." Jaskier changed the subject. "And I'm not trying to trick you. Tea?"

"Yes please."

Jaskier poured it. His nails were sharp but thin.

"Who is your neighbor?"

"An older couple--I'm not saying they're the ones mucking with the social order, but they are vampires and do live here."

Oh, the tea was bad. Like the food. Geralt hadn't even tried the food.

"I'm not trying to trick you." Jaskier insisted, handing him a handkerchief. 

"Then stop saying it. Let me get out of my own webs." Geralt mumbled. He worked away at his tea, and Jaskier grinned at him, so he looked away.

"Can you sleep when you're hungry?" Jaskier said.

"Yes." Geralt said. "Do you?"

"It doesn't work like that for me, I do need dirt when I sleep."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex

Geralt finished his tea and sat back. He wondered if it got very cold in this castle at night. He wondered about Jaskier's cool skin.

Jaskier took the tray, and came back, pausing at Geralt's shoulder.

"Do you know why I have long hair?" Geralt said, looking up into Jaskier's mezmerizing eyes. Jaskier leaned to kiss him, and Geralt kissed back. The viscount ran his hand down Geralt's arm, and took his hand. Geralt was led to the bed, and Jaskier pulled back a moment. Again, it was a nice bed. He laid back against the pillow, and Jaskier straddled him and smirked when Geralt's body reacted very warmly to him. 

He leaned down again to kiss Geralt, touching his cheek, cold fingertips on the side of his neck under his ears. Jaskier rolled his hips against him. Geralt hummed, running his tongue over Jaskier's bottom lip. And then their tongues fought and rutted against each other like two serpents. "Hey!" Jaskier said. "Humans don't have fangs."

"Spiders do."

"Wait, do they?"

"Witchers do." Geralt said.

"Oh, I like that." Jaskier gasped. Geralt curled his lip and Jaskier smiled, and Geralt did to, laughing at him. "Do you ever bite people?"

Geralt shrugged. "Sometimes."

"Do they bite you back?"

"Usually they bit first."

"Aw, that doesn't sound fair." Jaskier moved his hips again, and Geralt groaned and twitched. "Hey." Jaskier asked.

"Hhn."

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Uh-huh." Geralt put a hand on Jaskier's hip. Jaskier got off him and pulled his belt. Geralt sat up and undid Jaskier's ascot. Jaskier smirked again and unbuttoned Geralt's shirt while he got his pants down. "Oh wow." Jaskier said about Geralt's body or muscles or scars. Geralt wrapped an arm around Jaskier's back, and kissed his collar bone and nuzzled against his neck, hand roving over Jaskier's sculpted shoulders. 

"Oh fuck." Jaskier sighed, pressing himself against Geralt, who sucked on his neck. "Fuck." He said again, and Geralt pulled him back down. Jaskier got leverage, and licked Geralt's neck delicately, making him shiver. "Yeah." Jaskier said roughly, and sucked on him. His hips bucked up against Jaskier's thigh. 

Jaskier put his knee between Geralt's legs, and ran his hand up and down Geralt's thigh, fingernails grazing Geralt's inner thigh, oh fuck. Geralt's dick twitched again, and Jaskier gave him a very careful hickie.

"This is the favor." Jaskier said, passing Geralt a bottle of oil and sitting back. "Do spiders have claws?"

"Actually, some do. The ones that jump."

"Oh, okay."

"Saute de chat." Geralt spread some oil onto his fingers, and then teased his hole for a moment before sliding his finger in.

Jaskier was watching him, and it made his stomach flip. Jaskier was stroking himself slowly, and raised his eyebrows at him. He growled and added another finger, thrusting a little and humming in surprise. It had been a little while since he'd done this to himself, and not spread out the way he was under the strange eyes of an exceedingly strange viscount.

"Okay. Is that enough for you?" Geralt said, once he was feeling like he needed more, needed Jaskier.

"For me?" Jaskier asked, coming back closer and kissing him. He ghosted his fingers over Geralt's cock, and he almost squeaked, trying to chase Jaskier's teasing hand. "Can you? Come untouched?"

"Don't ask." Geralt warned, trying to keep from doing so just then. He moved to a slightly, slightly less vulnerable position. "Is this good."

"It's perfect." Jaskier stroked Geralt's hip and side, and he shivered. "Yeah, let me know if you don't like it. My mouth is warmer, so."

"Alright. Same to you, I guess, I think I run hot."

"I don't think I could mind." Jaskier lined himself up, and Geralt twitched against him. He was less cold than he was cool.

"Yeah." Geralt demanded.

Jaskier slid in, filling him slow and steady, and weird. Geralt cussed. Jaskier gave him a few shallow thrusts.

"Oh fuck, fuck. You feel so." Geralt said. Jaskier was making Geralt feel so hot.

Jaskier went deeper, and Geralt growled. "Fuck." Jaskier muttered. He found the right angle and Geralt bit back a shout. Jaskier kissed Geralt's shoulder, and licked sweat off the back of his neck. He nuzzled under Geralt's jaw and he hummed. Jaskier grazed his teeth over the side of Geralt's neck, and he could almost feel the hunger in Jaskier. "Fuck, you're so good, Jaskier." Geralt grunted.

Geralt slept through the night with Jaskier. He might have been cold, but somehow it wasn't a bad kind of cold.

Jaskier made more tea in the morning. "Is there anything more interesting to you than humans?" Geralt said.

"No." Jaskier said. "Wait, what are you asking?"

"We're having the morning negotiation."

"Oh. I mean, witchers, maybe. But I just need visitors. And well you know how it is."

Yeah, purposefully inviting married people who seemed like they would be interested in a vampire. Geralt knew how it was. "No. I'm telling you that you have to stop. I can't afford to keep looping back here, there won't be any contracts around here if I keep coming back. And I know that sounds good, nice and peaceful, but there will be contracts in other places that I would be neglecting."

"Well, there's some things that are more interesting than people." Jaskier hedged.

"What."

"Music. I was the first graduating class at Oxenfurt, you know. I mean to, you know, get my name out."

"Really? That's kind of cool." Wait, that makes him so young for a vampire!

"It's probably even better now, but I can't help being a little proud to have gotten them started off. Where do you take contracts at?" Jaskier said.

"Just all over this part of the continent. All over."

"Do you... ever go places with a nightlife?" Jaskier said. 

"Annoyingly yes. I prefer night." 

"Annoyingly? You're funny, I think I like you."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Promo art I made 4 this + Roach (Spider)

1\. I was gonna have Geralt be like, “Things are afraid of me, so I, uh, can and do travel at night. I’m grumpy in the day but that’s when people are. Awake.” But I remembered poor Roachie. Also IDEK if spiders are more nocturnal than wolves but it would be cute in this story if Roach, like, got turned behind Geralt's back (or so he claims) a while ago, so they all can be nocternal not just Jaskier.  


2\. More "My Trains" jokes  


3\. Original promo... It would get the "jonathan and dracula" vibes if this story was very full of those vibes but they're just hanging out by chapter 2... I thought I was clever, there's 8 reflections of Geralt since he's a Spider but none of Jaskier since he's a vampire  


4\. Spiderman... Trying to justify making him a Spider  


5\. Moodboard... all pics form tumblr I've reblogged to [morshuwitcher.tumblr.com](morshuwatcher.tumblr.com)


End file.
